In the second of our three-part series on life events, Jane-Anne Lee looks at how to cut wedding costs.

An unforgettable wedding need not be remembered most by the size of the bill. Couples who take a few shortcuts before that walk down the aisle can beat, rather than blow, their budget.

The first step is to determine the sort of wedding you both want. Do you crave the "wow factor", with fancy invitations, hundreds of guests, a team of bridesmaids in frilly frocks, flash cars, an elaborate reception and a multi-tiered cake, with a photographer and video expert documenting your every move?

Or would you prefer a more personal day with close family and friends, good food and wine, the bridal party in dresses that can be worn again and again, and only the occasional lens focused on your face?

How you can save
If you decide on the second option, you can start to plan. Fewer frills, fewer bridesmaids and guests, two courses rather than three, smaller boutique venue, a ceremony in winter or spring rather than summer and saying "I do" on any day but a Saturday can shave your wedding budget, says Martina Athitakis, a wedding co-ordinator at For the Love of Weddings.

"You can limit time with the photographer, borrow a friend's car rather than stretch out in a limo, choose smaller bouquets, opt for DIY invitations, make the cake your dessert, hire rather than buy dresses, especially for flower girls, and ditch the bonbonniere the treat guests take home."

With more couples tending to pay for their own weddings and getting hitched later in life the average bride is now 28 and the groom 30 new wedding trends have emerged.

More money for you
"Couples are focusing more on what's important to them," says Glenn Findlay, managing director of Australian Bridal Service.

"The average cost of a wedding, based on Australian Bureau of Statistics figures, is $28,000 and that hasn't changed in the past five years. But the shift is evident in where the money is being spent."

Findlay says couples will probably skip the bonbonniere and spend the money on their honeymoon or getting in shape for the big day. "Bridesmaid numbers are also dropping," he says. "More often it's just one or two dressed in elegant evening gowns from a department store or evening-wear shop that can be worn again.

"The older bride is more discerning and less traditional and she doesn't need so many attendants. Extended relatives and distant friends are being dropped off the invitation list because the bride and groom are paying.

"The bouquets are smaller because that is not benefiting the bride or groom. At the wedding reception, where the average cost [in capital cities] is about $80 a head, the focus is on quality rather than quantity."

Capturing the moment from donning the dress to the getaway scene can cost as much as $3000. But you can cut a photographer's hours by eliminating pre-wedding shots. Athitakis says: "This could save $500. You can get family and friends to take shots using disposable cameras on the reception tables, limiting the time at the venue by the photographer."

Findlay agrees that most couples don't need the full photo package and it's a matter of working out what you want. "Instead of accepting the package, think about the shots that are really important. Say, 'We don't want you to come to the groom's house and we don't want you to stay for the end of night' and automatically the bill will come down and couples get what they really want."

Cutting reception costs
Athitakis believes couples should consider inviting guests who are closest to them. If children have to be invited, find out if the venue offers kids' menus at kids' prices.

"Venues usually offer a five-hour package then charge a high hourly rate, so make sure you keep the reception within the time frame," she says.

"Alcohol can be one of the biggest expenses. Have unlimited wine, but set a limit on the bar for spirits. Once that is reached, let guests pay for their own drinks."

Be aware that there may be a cake-cutting fee of about $3 a plate. With negotiation, this can be waived. Or you can order, say, 100 small cakes done up in tiers for dessert and a separate cake for the bride and groom to cut. A mud cake or sponge costs less than a traditional fruit cake.

The Australian Bridal Service offers a Platinum Privilege Discount card for $20 with links to more than 1000 organisations. See www.australianbridalservice.com.au. When organising a honeymoon, see sites such as www.needitnow.com.au, www.webjet.com.au and www.flightcentre.com.au.

"People can be set on having a honeymoon suite but alternative suites are a lot cheaper," Findlay says. "Often all the honeymoon suite will offer as extra are chocolates."

Great ways to save
* Choose flowers in season.
* Shop for wedding rings at wholesalers.
* Get married in a church rather than outdoors with a celebrant.
* Hire a wedding planner to save time and money.
* Holiday overseas by taking a package rather than holidaying at home.
* Hire a DJ rather than a band just make sure you tell them the music you want.
* Do your own hair and make-up.

Case study
When Breda and Lincon McLaren tied the knot in April last year, they decided to use a wedding planner to save time and money.

"The planner put forward her suggestions and I gave her mine so I felt part of the wedding from the beginning," says Breda.

"All up we spent about $22,000. We believe the wedding planner saved us about $1000 by doing the negotiations and getting us a better deal on the reception."

To clip costs for their 100 guests, Breda, 30, and Lincon, 31, opted for a two-course meal with a mud cake and patty cakes made by a cake shop for the dessert. That saved about $350.

To get her to the ceremony on time, Breda was driven in her father-in-law's Chevrolet convertible, saving about $1000.

Her three bridesmaids bought their dresses from an evening-wear shop while her three flowergirls' gowns were hired. Paper for the invitations was bought from a local stationery shop.

Rather than pay for a photographer's time, the couple paid by the roll. "It cost us $1500 and we were very happy with the result. We decided not to have a videographer because we prefer to look at photos.

"Everything we did was the way we wanted it. Our parents split the reception costs; Lincon and I paid the rest.
"We had a limit of $1000 on the bar. Once that was reached we were asked if we wanted to extend it. We did, but in the end it was not by much."